Why trading is so difficult:
The market is absolutely impersonal but feels otherwise: it can demolish your account balance in minutes, the only way to survive is to follow rules and maintain discipline while watching your account (security) move up and down. Doing what your impulses tell you do will blow your whole account. It looks easy: just buy or sell right? And when it works it is easy but you must thoroughly understand your trade set ups and be able to follow them in real time. No doubting, no second guessing, just recognising patterns and following rules. And definitely never try to get revenge.
But I don’t want this. I want to be special. I want it to give me something. I want to win. I want money. I don’t want to test anything, because I might discover that nothing works. and if I do find something that works, it might stop working when I discover it because it’s all about ME. Right? The markets hate me and they trick me all the time. Now how familiar is that?
I haven’t done the work; I don’t want to wait. I want money now. I deserve it! I have spent hours doing this and I can’t see how else to survive. C’mon. You must give it to me NOW.
To make trading work, you need to know your setups and take them with complete consistency. I don’t want to do this. I want to run some stats and take trades without having to think and take risk. I hate RISK because I am always being tricked. It’s not fair.
This is not about me and what I want, what I think, how I think things should be. How awful to find out what a narcissist I am. The markets are my teacher:
I want to blast all concepts
and establish you in a no-concept state.
Anyone coming here will be liquidated.
(The Ultimate Medicine p.50)
In order to let go of something
you must first know what it is.
It is murdering me, murdering my concept of me as the centre of anything.