Listening to Hale on everything is love and I think ‘yeah, Right!’
Thinking about how ‘G’ came to visit and how I hated her, and how the fury is disguised disappointment: I wanted her to come round and I wanted to like her but I hated her. I hated listening to her and that is what the anger is, it’s the disappointment that you can’t love – or even like – someone, that they are making it impossible. I don’t want this, I want to sit with her, talking and connecting with her and loving her company. And I want that with other people too. I want them to be friends, to feel comfortable and for them to be connected with me. So my so-called hated really is disguised love – and however peculiar this seems, the fury comes from being thwarted in wanting to love people.