Misery is lack of love, not from to you but from you.
That is what he discovered back in [cc] and with his story in mind, that is what I see today.
If he was better I would be happier.
He makes me unhappy (unsatisfied/ashamed/frightened) because is not …
Lester did not mean giddy falling love. He meant complete acceptance first, and then even some joy in the other person. This is inseparable from turning the past into love. As this disatisfaction comtains the implication that at some point in the past, they or I could have chosen differently and in so doing avoided this misery.
If only I had choosen differently.
And if you really want to rip this out at the root, seeing that your are all one anyway and the only place that all of this exists is inside your own consciousness does the trick. You, the other person, the you that could have chosen differently or have anything different now or in the future, and the person that you are telling this to are all are all creations of and in the same substance.