I feel conflicted between trading and Holistic Bodywork. I spend a lot of time on trading which I could be using to learn theory and practical skills and to turm this trading into a business.
This is OK and makes sense up to a point, but there is also thread of helplessness inside this conflict which goes something like this:
“Oh I hope my trading works out. I hope its worth spending all this time on…. I hope I can do both.. that would be great.. but maybe it’s not possible.. maybe I am just greedy.” But who am I asking? Who is speaking with whom? Who is this discussion between?
Who decides whether this is possible and who gives permision? I think about it as if there is an external arbitrator who says “yes Sally, you have been good enough and you can be a trader and bodyworker“
Aside from this, there is the carelessness in my trading. Yes I do have ADD but focus is not impossible for me. On one hand I am asking for permission and one the other I am trading in a away that I make the answer absolutely certain: no you cannot trade because no one can trade profitably unless they pay attention and make precise entries.
For example, yesterday evening I stay out an hour longer than I want to, get to bed too late to get 7 hours sleep and do my morning practice so I have to miss it. And then I take some sloppy trades and don’t plan where I will enter to get the correct SL. This is a curiously childish mind as if I am trying to get away with something. But again, the question is who is trying to get away with something and who is setting the rules?
How would it be to decide?
One of the main issues with ADD is decision making: you do not decide what you are doing from one minute to the next nor from one hour to the next. You like to keep your options open so that you respond to whatever catches your eye, whatever takes your fancy.
What would it mean for me to decide to succeed at both instead of leaving the decision up to an imaginary other?
- Take supplements and do regieme advised by Daniel Amen
- Work on the parts with IFS
- Monitor where I am being careless and look for signs of improvement
- Where improvement occur, work out what leads up to them and what mindsets and practices improve the situation.
Do I really want to wake up at 6:40 each morning, work on my trading and then spend two or three hours journaling my sloppy trades and get nowhere all because I just don’t to wait a couple of seconds or even a minute for the correct entry? Or just because I don’t want to think things through? This make no sense and it’s a habit and a PFC issue so tackle it from all angles.