On 1 May 2016, I begin an experiment to transform my precarious financial position into one of wealth and security.
To do this, I need to find a way of freeing myself from self-imposed limitation and to achieve that, I use spiritual practices and the teachers discussed on this site.
I have seen endless claims for spiritual practices and courses that promise ‘abundance’ but do they work? Is is really possible to get the point where I can get myself out of the way and stop sabotaging myself enough to allow this? Will I ever be disciplined enough? If it works, how does it happen, how does the wealth arrive? What do I have to do to be comfortable with money so that I can ask for what I due and what I believe and deserve and so that I to give it away? Could I ever be free from jealousy over other people’s wealth and their achievements? Will I ever get over the artistic stage fright that has knobbled my art career? Will I ever be one of the 7% of traders who are consistently profitable? Will I ever be able make the art work I want to make without feeling resistant to the activity and then demoralised and victimised by the outcome?
I used to have a lot of money – I was a dollar millionaire in 2009. I ‘made’ this money by selling my houses in London in 2007 and 2008 and then investing a bear fund. Since March 2009, I have earned almost nothing, lost a huge amount of money spread betting, lost money on investments and lost even more money on investments and dividends payouts on trades I didn’t make. The rest I just spent. I was so sure I wouldn’t do this but I did.
I sold the houses because I hated being in London, hated what I was doing in life, felt like a complete failure as an artist and saw that I had an extraordinary opportunity because I owned property that was then worth four times what I paid for it. I believed that freedom from financial limitations would make it easy for me to make art work again and that I would become financial successful at it. That didn’t happen – or hasn’t yet – instead I have been on an incredible exploration into the mind, and the next stage of that trip is this experiment.