But it is as it is. I would not choose to have lost so much money and have this level of financial insecurity.
This may sound obvious, but I have been trying to convince myself that I love it when I hate it. I really hate. I wish I had done things differently. I have Pollyanna-ish beliefs on how easy it is to solve this situation without a shred of evidence to back it up (this is why I am so attracted to Integral Theory and Spiral Dynamics at the moment). This is not helping me anymore.
I do my spiritual stuff, my Sedona Method to try and get back to something I used to have. I am often motivated by resentment.
What would acceptance look like? If I genuinely accepted my situation, how would it be?
- I would think about now and the future.
- I would think about what I have rather than what I don’t.
- I would not cringe with regret.
- I would be focused on what works for me instead of what everyone else has.
- My perception of what I can do now would be framed by what I see, who I meet and what I learn instead of being limited by whether or not I can undo the effects of past decisions.
Keeping in mind also that Courage – Acceptance – Peace comes right at the top of the Sedona chart of emotions and above Lust-Anger-Pride.